The Cure for Horse Stance

I was complaining about horse stance on January 4th. The first Kung Fu day of the new year. My Sifu said, "I hear you complaining about horse stance, but all that tells me is that you need to do more horse stance." How much of that is true in my life? I complain about what I'm going through. I'm never focused outside of me and where I am and what I'm doing (or NOT doing). I never am looking at the future. The future benefits or goals of where I am today and where I want to be going. This is true in my life. Both physically and spiritually. Yes. We must focus on what we are doing now. But if what I am doing now has no eternal benefit, why am I doing it? In sanskrit there is a word, Anarthas. It is from two words, "Artha" meaning "of value" and "An" meaning "not". So in my christian background "besetting sins" are a problem but in the Vedic tradition, "besetting sins" are of "no value". This sift in understanding makes leaving "besetting sins" behind easier because I am spending more time doing things of eternal value and future benefit and, gradually, less time and "taste" for those things, habits, etc, that are of no value to my lasting nature and future. Is "horse stance" of value? I guess it depends on the situation. To Sifu it is of value. If I'm in a physical fight it is of value. If I'm in a spiritual fight, the tenseness of the holding of a stance or a position. The pause. The breath before the next action when tempted. This "stance" can be just the thing to let the temptation pass and lead to that one small block, stop or hit or punch that can lead to one small step forward to the victory of leaving my old self and the old me behind and moving into my new future. Or not. This could all be crap that I'm dreaming up. But I like how this horse stance works. More Horse Stance. Less Complaining. Have a Happy New Year Everyone!

Hit a deer Friday night.

Hit a Deer with my car Friday night on the way home. The car is now gone. I miss it. Not the deer, the car. The deer was an 8 point buck. The bullet was a 97 VW Cabrio. The deer was launched several feet in the air by my car and died almost immediately. As a Vegetarian, I feel awful about this. The deer are in rut, that’s a guy’s way of saying “in heat” that sounds more manly, course, and unbridled. The buck probably didn’t even see me, he was just following his sense of smell with his blood all up in a boil and the next thing he knew he was dead.

Too much like me in some ways. I loose myself in passions, be they real or imagined. Sometimes it is easier to give in to desires, lusts, flights of fancy than to fight and stand still when everything inside is screaming to do something! I’ve let outward events determine my inward feelings, thoughts and motives and these, in turn, affect my actions. I’ve let my mind imagine situations and events inwardly that have caused me to follow the same chain of action and caused me to react and do things that were not right for those around me or for myself.

It’s a shame that it takes so long for me to learn self- control. It’s not a subject taught in schools, colleges or universities. It is taught through examples and role models. It is taught through our experiences of life. It is learned the hard way not the easy way. Self-control keeps us from having “melt downs” when life doesn’t go the way we want it. Self-control keeps us from not allowing thoughts and feelings move us to act “out of passion.” Self-control helps us to keep doing the things that are right for those around us and ourselves.

The last time I hit a deer, I called Karen, crying, upset about hitting and possibly killing that deer (I never did find the body of that one so I do not know for certain.) Upset about the insurance not being able to do anything to help. I worried that my wife would never trust me with her car again. I worried about the money to fix the car and since I used that vehicle for work, I worried what customers would think of me in a busted up Ford Escape!

Then a “miracle” happened!

At my first customer stop, on my first day back from vacation, a neighbor across the street backed into the front of the Escape in the exact same spot that the deer had broken! Now, the insurance company could help, I wouldn’t have to worry about what others thought about me. I didn’t have to worry about finding the money for the repair. I did have to worry about when Karen would ever trust me with her Escape again!

Me: Honey, I’ve got good news and bad news.

Karen: What happened now?

Me: I’ve been in another accident.

Karen: What!?!

Me: The neighbor across the street backed into the Escape.

Karen: What!?!

Me: The good news is that they hit the same spot that I hit the deer with!

Karen: What!?!

That was all of 3 years ago. This time around the difference was that I didn’t let the external event move me. I was upset but I was self-controlled NOT controlled. What a different experience!

That is all I’ve got this week.

PS.

No I didn’t run. The tendons in my right foot are still swollen but getting better. I’ve got the company truck to drive so I can work without issues. I will hit the gym today to start exercising again. I will do some strength training and I really believe I will be able to run next weekend. They say it can take up to 6 weeks to recover fully from a marathon and right now is just passed the 2 week mark so I believe this is normal.